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*Warning - This is unedited, so there will be a few errors. A complete, edited book will be published when the whole story is complete :-) If you are missing chapters (or are signing up for the first time today) go to this link and enter your name into the form to receive old chapters.
Chapter Four
“I cannot believe I’m dead and sneaking into a McDonalds.” I glared at Nim, who was slipping through the crack in the back door of the fast food joint. “I thought my afterlife would be a lot more glamorous.”
He turned around and gave me a shocked look. “More glamorous than fillet-o-fish?”
“Yes. Somehow, it’s very easy to say yes.” I drifted through the door behind him.
“You’re nuts.” He shook his head, then trotted toward the counter where some paper wrapped sandwiches sat. “Filet-o-fish is divine.”
“Filet-o-fish? Filet-o-ass is more like it,” I muttered.
“I heard that!” Nim glared at me. “And you used to like the nuggets, as I recall. That’s parts-is-parts if I ever heard of it.”
“Just because I can’t recognize what part of the chicken it comes from doesn’t mean it isn’t delicious.” And damned if I wouldn’t scarf down some nuggets right now. I looked longingly around the kitchen. I swore my stomach growled, even though it wasn’t possible.
The staff in the kitchen completely ignored Nim. I shot him a look. “You’re a walking health code violation. Why are they ignoring you?”
“We’ve got an agreement.”
“What, like you catch the mice?”
“No, like I don’t scratch their eyes out.”
Yeah, that was my cat.
“That stray cat is back.” One of the cooks cooed, looking down at Nimsy.
I frowned as my cat slide between the cook’s legs. She looked left and then right before tossing down a fish filet-o-fish patty and what looked like an open sack of burgers.
“Good kitty,” the cook said before returning to her duties.
“You sly dog! How long have you been coming here?”
Nimsy flicked his head. “About a year now.”
Hah, my cat was a con artist!
He wolfed down the filet-o-fish sandwich in about two seconds flat, then turned to me. “But we’re here for another reason, too. We need a distraction. A good one.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll see.” He trotted toward the bag of hamburgers, then picked it up with his teeth. He looked at me and jerked his head in a ‘lets get out of here’ motion.
I turned and drifted back through the door. Fortunately, this place wasn’t far from the old mansion on the hill that the vampires used as their coven meeting place. Silas was pretty high up in the hierarchy, though I didn’t know all the details. He’d kept those from me, and now that I knew a bit more about who he really was, I had to wonder what he was hiding.
Nim hauled the bag of burgers all the way to the mansion, occasionally grumbling low in his throat. When we reached the edge of town, I looked up the hill toward the creepy old house. A wrought iron fence surrounded it, and several huge black dogs roamed the grounds. I spotted four of them amongst the enormous old oak trees.
“Ah, Nim. You’re a smart one.” I’d only ever been here a couple times, and both times I’d entered via car…and with permission. That last bit was the important part. Dogs didn’t bother you when you had permission to be there.
Nim dropped the bag of burgers on the ground and looked at me. “A little bribery never hurt.”
He yowled.
The dogs lifted their heads, then spotted us. They sprinted toward us, low growls sounding from their throats.
“How did you know they were here?” I asked as they approached. “You never visited with me.”
“Not with you, no. But like I said, I know stuff. And dangerous dogs is my kind of stuff. Self-preservation and all that.”
The dogs stopped at the edge of the fence, all four of them growling like hellhounds, their black muzzles pulled up over long white fangs.
Hang on. Were they hellhounds?
“Hold your horses, morons.” Nim pawed at the burger bag, clumsily unwrapping the burgers. “You know the drill. I ain’t got no thumbs so you gotta be patient.”
One by one, he unwrapped the burgers and then picked them up in his jaws, tossing them through the fence. As soon as he’d tossed the last one, he looked at me. “Now run like your tail is on fire, because they’ll eat us in about twenty-two seconds.”
“Can they eat me?”
“They’re hellhounds. So yeah.” He shrugged. “At least, it’ll hurt a hell of a lot. You might not die die like with those soul suckers, but you could lose a leg.”
Ah, shit.
Nim leapt through the fence, and I followed, drifting through the metal bars and racing after him up the hill. Ten seconds later, a loud growl sound from behind me. I looked back, and fear spiked in my veins.
One of the hellhounds was on my trail, the burger long gone. Smoke seeped from his nostrils, a little detail I’d missed before. “You said twenty-two seconds, Nim!”
“I lied! Now come on!”
I drifted faster, which was awkward as hell. It was like running, but not. The hellhound sprinted after me, gaining quickly. I could feel his hot breath on my back—one of the first things I’d actually felt since I’d died. I peeked back.
Shit! If I could pee myself, I would.
He was so close I could see the red of his eyes. His breath smelled like dead bodies and Big Macs—bad combo, probably the secret sauce—and he lunged for me. Terror slice through me as his fangs nearly reached my thigh. A burst of energy raced through my body, making everything vibrate.
He was going to get me!
The house was still twenty yards in the distance. No way I’d make it before he lunged a second time. Soon, he’d be snacking on yummy ghost flesh.
Fear propelled me faster, and suddenly I was only a few feet from the house.
What the hell?
I looked back and the hellhound was fifteen yards away.
Holy crap, had I teleported or something?
There was no time to figure it out. The hellhound was nearly to me. Nim reached my side and leapt up onto a windowsill. It was barely cracked to let in the night breeze, and he managed to squirm through. I turned away from the hellhound and drifted through the wall behind my cat. The faint thud of the monster slamming into the house wall made me wince, then grin.
Leaning down to look out the crack in the window, I came face to face with the snarling dog. “That’s what you get for being a dick.”
He growled louder, and just I waved at him, then turned back to the task at hand.
“He’ll remember your face,” Nim said.
“Well then, he’d better remember not to mess with me.” I spun to inspect the room. It was some kind of fancy library, done up in too much red velvet. I wrinkled my nose. “So cliché for vampires.”
Nim sniffed the air as he walked to the door. “Smells like blood.”
“Ew.” I’d never been a fan of Silas’ blood drinking, since it wasn’t sexy like it was in a lot of the books.
“Now that we’re going on missions and stuff, I thought this would be a good time to tell you that I’ve always hated the name Nimsy. From here on out, I’d like it if you referred to me as Beast,” my cat whispered.
“What! You love that name.” My bottom lip poked out as I tried not to shove down the hurt.
“Hate it. Always have.” He began to move silently through the house.
“Beast?”
He nodded.
“Fine.” This damn cat. Didn’t he know who owned who?
Damn, I was sneaky as a ghost. I was a better thief dead than I had been alive. At least, I would be if I could pick stuff up. I ignored that future hurdle and inspected my surroundings. I’d never been in this wing of the vampire headquarters before.
Was Silas here even now?
“Where to?” Nim asked.
“No idea. Silas never showed me where they kept the goods.” He dealt in stolen magical items like I did, but on a different scale. I probably should have realized he didn’t trust me all that much. It was obvious in hindsight. “Let’s just peek around. We’ll find the valuables eventually.”
We came to a massive room filled with couches and chairs. Ten vampires lounged in different positions, a few humans scattered here and there. They had the blank look of blood slaves in thrall—their eyes blacked out and their mouths slack. Thin scarlet rivulets dripped from their necks.
Nim—er Beast—stuck to the shadows, his small black form blending easily. I kept close to him, my eyes on the vampires. A few raised their heads and sniffed the air.
“Anyone smell that?” asked a skinny pale one with a red mohawk.
“Dunno, Gus,” a pretty dark-haired female vamp said. “Smells a bit like decay?”
Hey! I did not smell like decay!
I was a damned ghost, not a dead body. But maybe I smelled like that to vampires?
Either way, I needed to hightail it out of here.
Nim picked up the pace and I followed, drifting quickly through the room.
We hurried up the stairs and down a narrow hall, slipping into empty room after room. Most of them were bedrooms or offices. We passed solo vampires a few times, but Nim ducked behind furniture. They didn’t see me, obviously.
“There’s nothing small enough for me to carry here,” Nim muttered, staring at a nice painting on the wall. “Some of this shit is expensive, but it’s too big.”
“I know the coven has some valuable magical items. Silas always brags about them, so they have to be here. Let’s keep looking.”
Nim nodded, and we moved on, creeping through endless hallways and rooms. Damn, this place was big.
Ten minutes later, we found a room with a locked door. I looked down at Nim. “This has to be it.”
Nim sniffed the door, then moved back. “Someone is in there.”
“Really?” I whispered. “Shit.”
A half second later, the door opened. Instinct made me lunge backward as a woman appeared in front of me. She looked like she was in a hurry, her hair windblown and her expression frantic.
She raced out of the door and walked right through me, shivering. She didn’t look down, so she didn’t notice Nim.
Nim darted through the open door. The woman tapped the door with her hand as she walked away, no doubt so that it would swing shut and lock automatically.
And it would have, if Nim hadn’t blocked it with his body, making sure it stayed open six inches. I held my breath as I watched the woman depart, hoping she wouldn’t turn around to see that the door hadn’t shut as she’d expected. She rounded the corner and disappeared.
I grinned down at Nim. “Quick thinking.”
“No point in going into a locked room if I’m going to get trapped.”
“Too true.” I hated that I couldn’t open the damned door, but there was no point dwelling.
Nim and I hurried into the room after he made sure the door didn’t latch. I grinned at the sight of shelves stocked with goodies. A lot of it was really old looking paperwork—probably valuable intel on different folks—but there were a few boxes and treasured items scattered here and there.
“Find something small,” Nim said.
I searched the shelves, running my hands over the various papers and objects, feeling for the distinctive tingle that indicated something was enchanted. Even humans could feel if the objects were so powerful. I couldn’t help but look for the resurrection skull that I was sure Silas had stolen from me, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. The most annoying part was that it could be in a freaking box and I couldn’t even open it.
As if he’d heard my thoughts, Nim started knocking boxes over. He looked at me, and I swore he grinned. “Property destruction is kind of my thing.”
I spread out my hands. “By all means, keep at it.”
Objects clattered out, but no serpent’s skull. Looked like we were back to Plan B—find something valuable enough that we could hock it to get the money to pay the necromancer.
I ran my hand over a small golden bracelet and felt the massive tingle of magic. I grinned. “Jackpot.”
Nim hurried over. “Whatcha got?”
I pointed to the bracelet. “That’s got a lot of magic in it. Not sure what it does though.”
“At least it’s small.” Nim bent low and flipped the bracelet up with his paws, then maneuvered so that it went around his neck like a collar. He looked up and preened. “I look pretty good, don’t I?”
“That’ll bring all the lady cats to the yard, that’s for sure.”
“Or cat ladies.”
“At least they’d bring food.”
Nim grinned. “Gotta love em. Now let’s get the hell out of here.”
We raced from the room. Nim kicked the door shut behind him, and we retraced our steps to head back to the first floor. The sound of voices from one of the halls had us veering right and heading down a new hall to avoid them. We passed a room with a partially opened door and Nim stopped dead.
“Smells like Silas.” His head swiveled to look into the room. “I’m gonna pee all over his shit.”
“No! We’ve got to get out of here.” Last thing we needed was to get caught. “And peeing on things isn’t the only way to deal with problems, you know!”
But Nim was already gone. I darted into the room after him, finding him peeing on the edge of Silas’ desk. The room was empty, and Nim looked so happy.
I crossed my arm. “Fine, have your fun, but be quick about it.”
Sure enough, this room smelled just like my ex, fresh coppery blood and vanilla was his calling card. A pang of sadness washed over me at how quickly he’d mourned my death and betrayed me.
“If I try, I might be able to work up a hairball,” my cat said. “I could hack it up on that couch over there.”
I laughed, looking toward the ornate red couch that sat to the left of the desk. All right, this was kinda fun. “You gotta hurry up, man. Pee faster!”
“This is as fast as I can go! You can’t rush art.”
The sound of footsteps sounded from outside the room. Instinct made me duck behind the couch, and Nim joined me.
“They can’t see you, you know.”
“Whatever,” I whispered, peering out from behind the couch.
Silas entered, along with another man and a woman.
Damn. Had I ever loved this guy?
Sure, he was hot, with his alabaster skin, tall build and glossy dark hair. And there were some good memories floating around in my head. But after what he’d done to Nim, all I could see was a bastard.
“I’m gonna go pee on him.” Nim scowled.
“No!” I whispered, but I put so much force into the quiet word that Nim held still.
Silas flopped into the chair behind the desk, somehow not noticing the puddle of pee near the bottom.
The male vampire—an older guy with slicked back gray hair and reptilian features—took a chair in front of the desk. The woman, who was dressed entirely in black leather that matched her midnight hair, propped herself on top of the desk. She pursed her red lips, then sniffed the air.
Shit.
Was she smelling me?
Fortunately, Silas spoke, distracting her. “Have we had any news on the shipment?”
“None. I’m waiting to hear from Vanguard about what time the delivery will be, but if we don’t get it, the fae won’t align with us and you can kiss your resurrection skull ceremony goodbye.”
What the hell did she just say? Resurrection skull ceremony? My resurrection skull?
“You mother fucker!” I stood from behind the couch and shouted at Silas.
“We will get the shipment to the fae and in return they will do my ceremony or there will be hell to pay. Understood?” Silas ignored me and glared at the female.
Ceremony? Fae? I was a pretty horrible magical thief and an even more horrible magical historian, so it was hard to put all the pieces together.
The vampire looked like she was about to fire back when she began to sniff the air again.
Oh shit.
“Hey, do you smell that?” the female vampire said.
I crouched into a ball behind the couch before peeking up from behind it to assess the situation. She swiveled her head toward me, her nose twitching. She couldn’t see me, but she could definitely smell me.
Silas wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, what is that?”
“It’s coming from over here.” The woman got up and walked toward the couch.
Shit. Shit. Double shit.
She wouldn’t see me, but she would see Nim and the charmed bracelet he wore. We had to get out of here, and the only open window had been on the first floor.
An alarm sounded then, blaring through the whole house. I flinched.
Silas shot up from his desk, shock on his face. “That’s the theft alarm!”
Aaaand triple shit. They’d discovered the ransacked treasure room.
Oopsie.
All three vampires lunged toward the couch, as if they were putting two and two together—funky smell coming from this couch plus stolen loot equaled something that needed to be checked out.
And there was nowhere to hide. The area under the couch was too small for Nim. He’d be spotted any second.
“Time to jet.” Nim darted from behind the couch, and I followed, drifting as fast as I could toward the door to keep up.
Nim was a black blur in front of me, and as I raced out the door, I heard Silas’ voice. “What the hell! Was that Nimsy? And what was around his neck?”
Shit. He was onto us.
Together, we raced down the stairs. The alarm continued to clang, and I looked behind me to see Silas’ enraged face as he chased us. He couldn’t see me, but his eyes were riveted to Nim.
Fear for my cat rocketed through me as we hurried back to the open window. One of the vampires was moving toward it.
“Shut that window!” Silas shouted.
Shit!
Nim put on the gas, sprinting toward the window, racing against the vampire. He leapt up and slipped through at the last second, moving faster than I’d ever seen him before. I followed, drifting through the wall a half second later.
Together, we raced down the lawn, barely managing to avoid the hellhounds who nipped at our heels. The vampires were fast, but not as fast as a terrified Nim. My cat was bordering supernatural with that speed! It helped that they had to use the door and that slowed them down. We reached the edge of the lawn at the same time they made it out of the house. Nim leapt the fence, then jumped into the bed of a passing pickup truck like it was no big deal. I followed, floating forward to join him.
“Holy crap!” I took a seat next to Nim and dropped my head against the back of the cab, faintly wondering why I wasn’t falling through. I watched the vampire mansion disappear into the distance. “I don’t think they saw you get in here.”
“Good thing too, or I’d pee on that bastard.”
I chuckled, but it wasn’t long before the laugh faded. “He’s onto us, Nim.”
“Onto me, at least. And I told you, from this day forward I shall be known as Beast.”
I ignored the Beast thing.
“He’ll figure it out soon enough.” But that wasn’t our real problem. Our real problem was that Silas was planning on using the resurrection skull and he was in bed with the fae. That meant only one thing… My asshole ex-boyfriend was probably the one who’d had me murdered.
***
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